Daring Leadership

You know your country has it going on when your president responds to a mini coup by saying:

This was Ecuadorian President Rafael Correa's response to mass protests by his country's security forces after a law eliminating civil servant bonuses was enacted.

This is like the governmental equivalent to the climax of Predator.




Except the Predator was hunting Arnold because Arnold had seriously fucked the Predator over in the past. Hey! Maybe there's a prequel in this. Two years before the events of Predator, Dutch and his crew get the benefits canceled at the Predator's job or something, forcing the Predator to hustle just to make ends meet? I like it.

It would be like Hustle and Flow, except with Predators.

Interesting sidenote: The term "ends meet" is in reference to the idea of making your spending match your earning, or barely scraping by with no spare income. However, if you switch the word "meet" with "meat," the meaning could be preserved if you consider it an as making just enough money to buy the worst cut of an animal: the rump; also known as "the end."

Get it? Ends meat?




Wasn't I talking about the political instability of a Latin American country at one point?






.

The two best comments on the Mighty Ducks (TV show) theme song.

HELL THE FUCK YES.

Interesting comments on this one.

First of all, you've got this startling confession:

YouTube is a weird place to come out. It's not the most accepting place. Although I guess it's better than Xbox Live.

Still, how did The Mighty Ducks theme song bring this up?


But then, to take the cake:




So true. So, so, so true.

It's what we've all been waiting for, ain't it?

Remember the part where I said I wouldn't bring up Armond White again?

I lied.

It's just too good to pass up. This man is a machine.

The critical reception of The Social Network has been pretty good. Mostly, it's been given minor praise. About it, critics have said pretty standard things such as, "the movie of the year," "truly great" and that it defines the past decade. 

Potential hyperbole aside, "define the past decade?" That is not a quote to be taken lightly. This movie is clearly of some importance. 

So somebody! Somebody, please, take it down a notch! Someone please see through the overbearing quality that has blinded so many of your peers! PLEASE! The world is too imperfect a place to not benefit from your keen insights and pointed self-agrandizement!

Enter Sir Armond White. Who else can the world rely on to whirl up enough spiteful energy to sling another wildly impertinent series of words designed to combat its author's own attention indigence but the King of Contraria himself?

Thank you, Armond. Thank you. The movie industry can only hope that the brilliant films you slander see half as many ticket sales as your thesaurus sees use.

And for those of you who haven't encountered Slash Film's discussion with White, check it out. Your opinion of him will go from celebrity troll, to genius performance artist, to certifiable sociopath quite quickly.

Believability

What is the best way to convince someone you're telling the truth on the internet?

Why, go to a video of some kid doing kung fu, and leave the following comment, of course!

I am sold.

I think I'm just going to give this guy all of my e-mail accounts. How can I lose?

IT'S FREE THINGS PPL! FREE THINGS!

What wouldn't you do to get free things?

Solemn Promise

I hereby swear to never delve into the goldmine of internet-gestated idiocy that is a small man known as Armond White.

After this:

Teehee. You're funny, Armond. You make me laugh.

I'm guessing you were just scarred by cinema after your namesake was besmirched by Reservoir Dogs.

Douchebaggery. It's a universal thing.

Even corporate executives can engage in some light slandering. Like Bobby Kotick and Jeff Brown, of Activision and EA, respectively. This one gets nasty!

But mainly because Jeff Brown kinda hits the nail on the head.

Headline alert

Man, I wish I wrote soccer headlines.

Sure, "ankle injury." It's totally not about the whore thing.

Promise.

I should've paid better attention in my political science classes.

That way, I could make keen governmental critiques like this:





I would like to think that pistolstarter1980 meant "steer us in a communist direction." But chances are, "into" is correct, which will indubitably lead to inspired political cartoons.


And really. Even the average YouTube user has to understand how immediately hypocritical it is to start a comment with, "Ur stupid."

HUMANITY !!!!

Does it even matter what video this was a comment on?

WORD!

So this is the video for Raekwon's "Catalina" featuring Lyfe Jennings. It's a banger.

But no one (or should I say noone) is asking the right question. And that is what Jack Bauer got a youtube account for. To keep shit real.





Word, Jack Bauer. Word.

And for the record, Lyfe Jennings is going to back to prison for kicking in a door, waving a four-four, so to speak.

The Official Definition of Trolling

The official definition of "trolling," according to JLee258:

"no trolling is when you go about 0.5-1 knots and you throw your line out he back of the boat . or you can troll for hookers in your case male which is probably what you do when your mom lets you out of the basement"

So it turns out there is some serious beef brewing underneath the Toto video. I'm just going to let y'all sort through it, but it concerns the circumstances surrounding the death of the drummer from Toto.

I love how quickly this conversation turns from dog-fucking to a morality lesson.

Nothing quite beats asking someone why they are being so hostile, then immediately positing that their hostility is a result of their witnessing a coital act between their mother and domesticated canines.

No one get these guys started on the Kennedy assassination.

I kinda feel bad about this one...

...because I'm not even sure that this person speaks English.










Also because I was listening to Toto to find it.

This is what we've all been waiting for.

A lovely little exchange between ich3ro and BiteOutOfCrime1 over a video of Greg Oden injuring his knee.

So it all started when ich3ro feels the need to tell everyone what's going on, saying,

Then BiteOutOfCrime1 is all,

But ich3ro felt there wasn't enough unbridled hostility in the conversation, plus he doesn't play that shit, so:








The period in NBA.com is the only attempt at punctuation. BiteOutOfCrime1 decides to correct his opponent,

For the record, BiteOutOfCrime1 is the correct party here. Greg Oden suffered a fractured patella, not a torn ACL/MCL as ich3ro would have you believe. ich3ro doubtlessly discovers this and counters with,








You've gotta love it.

Um....

If we could just get one every few weeks, that'd be great. Also, if you could just toss your souls into this little bag, I'm collecting them for a reaping.

Spotted on joystiq.

Breakin' all the Rules

You don't have to be a complete ingrate to earn the judgement of Comment Section! You can actually have some decently formed English sentences! But if you want to make it here and have any sort of writing ability, don't worry.

Just make sure you come off like a total bourgeois douchebag. In a Metacritic user review. Of Machete.

Yeeeeah.... claiming a movie will pander to "gang affiliated" individuals is a good way to let people know you're not at all ignorant. But also, if you really to impress people, you should probably remember the hyphen in gang-affiliated.

GRAMMAR PWN

Helen Mirren

First of all, it should be noted that bringing up Hellen Mirren in a comment will always earn you praise, especially when the comment is on a page with absolutely nothing to do with her.

But when you put it like:

I guess there's no better way to put it. Someone make this man a casting director!



And now, for your enjoyment-

Note: Please mentally replace "Halle Berry" with "Helen Mirren."


Helen Mirrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeen..... HELEN MIRREN!

Mama Said.... Something. I don't entirely remember what.

First watch this video of Arvydas Sabonis knocking a dude the fuck out.







Naturally, you'd expect a video of a sports brawl to be commented on by only the greatest minds on the internet, an internet Intelligentsia, if you will.


And that is exactly what you get:







Other things ETBzocka finds to be pussys, due to their lack of poularity:
                        1. Pole vaulters
                        2. Curlers
                        3. Rob Schneider movies

A Dandy to Start Things Off

Sometimes comments can be piercingly insightful. The best comments force us to reflect on our own lives, they challenge us to examine some aspect of ourselves that we may not be aware of, or they can simply make us laugh at something with which we are more than familiar.

The best comments manage to eloquently touch a piece of our souls, and leave us changed in a way that we wish we had always been.

This comment on the Inception trailer does just that.

Thank you, LILBr0wNCLoWn. Thank you. Never remove the duct tape holding you cap locks button down, no matter what anyone says.

And violethaa. While you may not reach the lofty heights of those that followed you, your spelling, lack of subject-verb agreement, and mysterious "commalipses" are a treasure to us all. Thank you as well.